thursday Humor

by Colleen Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:39 am

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting

time the boy should give some thought to choosing a
profession.

Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he
wanted to do, and he didn't seem to concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away to school, his father decided
to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed
on his study table four objects.

A bible

A silver dollar

A bottle of whisky

And a playboy magazine.

'I'll just hide behind the door', the old preacher said to himself.

'When he comes home from school this afternoon, 'I'll see
which object he picks up.

If it's the bible, he's going to be a preacher like me and what a
blessing that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and
that would be okay, too.

But if h e pick s up the bottle. he's going to be a no-good
drunkard, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a
skirt-chasing bum.

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-
steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his
room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave
the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.

He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket.

He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired
this months centerfold.

'Lord have mercy.' the old preacher disgustedly whispered.
'He's gonna run for Congress.

by Colleen Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:41 am

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

I, the Penis,

Hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

· I do physical labor.

· I work at great depths.

· I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

· I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

· I work in a damp environment.

· I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

· I work in high temperatures.

· My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

P. Niss

The Response

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:

· You do not work 8 hours straight.

· You fall asleep after brief work periods.

· You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

· You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.

· You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.

· You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

· You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.

· You will retire well before you are 65.

· You are unable to work double shifts.

· You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

V. Gina